Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disney World. Monday, I take a class trip to Disney World. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML
Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML
Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML
Today, after I spent a fortune on plane tickets and hiked a mountain so I could spread dad's ashes around the boulder where he proposed to mom, and where mom's ashes were scattered 3 years ago, the moment was ruined by the fat, stoned teenagers having sex on the boulder here in the middle of nowhere. FML
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML
Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML
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Top comments
melikesfml 11
Mmm wonderful family memories.
Queen_Cosmos 7
Think about it like this, if they never did it on the bench you wouldn't be here today :)
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Comments (145)
MigraineurOfLife 15
Why do parents think that their kids want to know that?
alycion 39
We torture them in our own special way. Must be a sort of revenge to tell us things that. Oils drive us into therapy.
simonsaysYDI 8
Please don't sit on that bench.
PrincessPesa 20
At least it's a scenic locale! I found out where and when I was conceived in an even more awkward way; I was getting ready to go to a bar in an upscale/'hip' hotel, and my mom blurts out "Oh! You were conceived there! On Super Bowl Sunday. After the party ended." So OP, I guess we were both created at great heights!! : p
JaysFanStu 3
At least they remember...
Dyeguy57 1
Swag
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Say swag one more time. *cocks gun* I DARE you, beyotch.
CokeOrPepsi1337 1
Must have been a gorgeous view.
shawnaishere 14
Isn't it nice to see your place of origin?
GaleIsHawt 5
The perfect family vacation! Dont you just love learning how it all started?
ManBroSkiGirl 10
I would have bad thoughts.
sammyluvspugs 4
Aw family bonding