Money: Today, we moved 2,700 miles across the U.S. to better our lives,...

By Meg - 17/10/2018 15:30

Today, we moved 2,700 miles across the U.S. to better our lives, with job offers and home options lined up. All of them were given to other people or turned out to be scams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 022

You deserved it 560

Money

Taking stock

Hiding from the drama

White knights

By ouchmytits - 28/03/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 663

You deserved it 4 560

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 337

You deserved it 6 644

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 22:00

Today, the speaker I ordered from the distant country of America arrived. This is after it was held up by local customs, who demanded I pay no small amount for the import duty. Upon unboxing, I found out it was actually made in my own country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 311

Definitely confusing

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 10:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job, neither by quitting or getting fired. I don't know whether to be mad or confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 67

By amber - 19/04/2012 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 668

You deserved it 4 755

By nonmormon - 18/07/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 025

You deserved it 4 259

By ireallylikecats - 22/04/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 229

You deserved it 2 564

By Amanda - 26/11/2013 20:00 - United States

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 265

You deserved it 12 662

By jzone32 - 14/10/2009 05:45 - Canada

Today, I had my first job interview in years. While I was waiting for the manager to come out I realized I had forgotten the resume that I had printed out the night before, since he specifically asked me to bring one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 300

You deserved it 28 208

MILs gonna MIL...

By newestallen - 09/08/2018 23:30

Today, I married the love of my life, which was meant to stay secret until we can afford a ceremony. I opened Facebook to see that my hubby’s mom made a post about it, called me her new daughter-in-law, and tagged me. All 3 things we specifically asked her not to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 254

You deserved it 419

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 17:52 - United States

Today, I went to go meet my new upstairs neighbor, only to find out nobody actually moved in. The noises that have been coming from up there were made by rats. Lots of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 613

You deserved it 2 360

By lonelyandbored - 31/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 242

You deserved it 11 156

By SprinklerDodger - 08/06/2012 23:54 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 629

You deserved it 2 390

By Anonymous - 14/07/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I checked the facebook event page that I had set up for my 21st birthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees, the only person who said yes is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 400

You deserved it 5 556

By :( - 02/03/2016 14:13 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I had a Chinese test. Our teacher decided to wait until yesterday to tell us about it because she "knew" we wouldn't study anyway and she didn't want to stress us out. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 223

You deserved it 1 973

By Ryan - 18/12/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 471

You deserved it 10 898

By Speechless - 17/06/2016 08:12

Today, it's been a few days since I saw an ad advertising my job after being told about it by a telemarketer. When I asked my boss about it, she claimed things were fine, it was an old ad, not to worry. Now, I was actually fired for no valid reason. A telemarketer gave me more warning than they did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 166

You deserved it 864

By MemoKrosav - 30/01/2016 03:54 - Mexico - Matamoros

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 235

You deserved it 4 523

By CASH_NoMOMEY - 07/05/2015 05:12 - United States - Windsor

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 519

You deserved it 5 577

The key to happiness

By Luke - 25/07/2010 22:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 756

You deserved it 4 067

By Lizzzyygurl - 02/09/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 649

You deserved it 14 575

By Grinch - 24/12/2016 12:08

Today, it's Xmas Eve, and my partner's quick afternoon catch-up with his friends has turned into 5 messy drunks in our house at 1am. So it's no to the "us" time evening we had planned before spending tomorrow with our families who live over 3 hours away. Guess who had promised to drive and now can't? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 314

You deserved it 704

By mollyeyers - 22/08/2010 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 855

You deserved it 3 497

By thatsnice - 09/12/2014 21:19 - United States - Warwick

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 032

You deserved it 4 257

By FianceFlaw? - 25/11/2018 14:00

Today, I went to the courthouse to apply for my marriage license and had my mother tag along with me. When I asked one of five security guards where to go, my mom looked at him and said,"You’re suppose to talk her out of it." Thanks, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 12/06/2014 05:02 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 810

You deserved it 10 802

By justletitbeover - 28/05/2011 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 9 560

By Anonymous - 25/02/2015 10:33 - Australia - Maddington

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 177

You deserved it 13 193

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 29/04/2021 16:59

Today, I'm on the verge of losing my job because of my poor mental health. I've been on a wait list for therapy/psych services for over a year already. My boss's response was, "It can't be that bad, just stop thinking about it." I have PTSD, OCD, BPD, ADHD, bipolar depression and anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 197

By yggiz - 29/08/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 918

You deserved it 31 962

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

By Gloria Lovestar - 13/09/2019 20:00

Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 183

By collegekidproblems - 30/06/2016 19:35 - United States

Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 493

You deserved it 929

By Anonymous - 23/09/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 889

You deserved it 37 612

By snowball - 29/12/2010 23:32 - Switzerland

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 5 756

By ditzen - 07/12/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 683

You deserved it 4 453

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 358

You deserved it 3 052

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 405

You deserved it 5 170

By Lentil - 31/01/2012 13:13 - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 247

You deserved it 3 909

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 877

You deserved it 39 325

Healthcare in the USA

By still can’t sleep - 21/12/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, despite changing my eating habits, exercising regularly, and taking melatonin, I still can’t sleep. When I told my doctor, she prescribed antidepressants. This is the third time she’s tried to give them to me. That’s her solution for everything, and my insurance won’t give me another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 118

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BurnInDemonFire 32

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Wednesday 17 October 2018 19:38

Wait, so none of this was set in stone? Job offers and home options aren't exactly guarantees, they're possibilities. And scams, apparently. I'd like to know why you moved before everything was established. One of you/your partner could have gone ahead, and made sure it was all sorted, your jobs were secured, your home available, and then it would have been okay for everyone else to move, as well.