Love: Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 15:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 821

You deserved it 7 839

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Same thing different taste

By save me - 30/05/2014 22:33 - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 667

You deserved it 4 717

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 08:17 - Australia

Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 534

You deserved it 2 859

Nice try

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 647

You deserved it 3 487

Bad guy (duh)

By Anonymous - 17/06/2020 20:01

Today, I had to fake enthusiasm when my girlfriend told me she's pregnant. She has a nasty streak and I was planning to break up with her, but if I left her now everyone would think I’m the bad guy. I actually think she’s capable of killing me if she gets angry enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 897

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 966

You deserved it 2 106

By illenram06 - 11/07/2011 15:37 - Philippines

Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 770

You deserved it 6 688

By Trapped. - 06/11/2013 02:53 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 956

You deserved it 11 602

Appearance matters

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 23:00

Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 391

By FFFFF- - 02/03/2011 17:12 - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 087

You deserved it 5 185

By hylianprincess - 25/09/2014 11:19 - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 693

You deserved it 3 262

Next

Top comments

CarbonCoach 11

Friday 29 November 2013 19:03

Tell her how you feel maybe?

Kyuzomi 12

Friday 29 November 2013 19:04

How insane could a family be to make you think of faking a death? Sounds like hell.

Comments

FrankHotpants 31

Friday 29 November 2013 23:31

If it's so overbearing then why are you with her? Your partner shouldn't make you feel anywhere near that way.

RedDragonx32 8

Friday 29 November 2013 23:34

If those are thoughts you are thinking of to get away from your gf, you should just consider breaking up instead of lies. and u don't want to know what lies would make an insane gf do......

DarthVader77 9

Friday 29 November 2013 23:35

Wait till you marry her ;)

muggy02 2

Saturday 30 November 2013 0:00

Shame. That's pretty despicable.

Dcm210 19

Saturday 30 November 2013 2:04

At least you have one, mine decided to just want be friends with benefits.

PrincessJess87 9

Saturday 30 November 2013 2:10

If its time to fake your own death, it's time to break up.

ASBriere 8

Saturday 30 November 2013 2:26

Been there bro; wait I still am

mintyowlgirl 20

Saturday 30 November 2013 2:52

But he didn't say anything about the girlfriend being the way her family is.

Eivana 37

Saturday 30 November 2013 3:41

Jesus Christ, why are people so stupid to not think of... Gee, I dunno... Breaking up, maybe?

Lafayo 9

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:05

Maybe Peter, Cleveland and Joe can help you make a convincing video like they did for Quagmire.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 839

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

The Top

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 956

You deserved it 54 077

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 321

Today, after having set up a date with a wonderful guy who seems to really like me, I caught a cold. I have also lost most of my voice because of it, so I now sound like an angry, deranged goose when I talk. This will be the first time he meets me in person. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 661

You deserved it 372

Today, I sabotaged my marriage by putting the idea of an open relationship that I never wanted into my husband's head. Why the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 1 943

Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 7 660

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 287

You deserved it 3 490