Intimacy: Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive...

By Anonymous - 02/02/2012 18:07 - India

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 496

You deserved it 26 026

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By not living happily ever after - 02/12/2014 17:02 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I deleted a load of junk that was messing up my mother's computer. I don't know how I'm going to tell her I accidentally wiped out all of her wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 455

You deserved it 31 464

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 2 574

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 485

You deserved it 44 064

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 431

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 587

Ungeeked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 04:01 - United States - Weyauwega

Today, while trying to fix a corrupted USB hard drive with my wife’s computer I accidentally wiped her laptop drive instead of clearing the external drive. I’m not allowed on her computers anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 560

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 200

You deserved it 56 611

By hb1 - 04/06/2016 18:15 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 716

You deserved it 3 148

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 14 425

NSFW

By Anonymous - 14/11/2013 10:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 669

You deserved it 47 632

21jason 9

Thursday 2 February 2012 22:43

I hope you had enough tissues

Jakesterk96 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 22:44

Take a moment with twix. Problem solved.

Comments

j4ym4n 2

Friday 3 February 2012 3:58

If that's the worst thing that happened all day... Then it's a good day mate

bamberbear 0

Friday 3 February 2012 4:31

That's straight hilarious.

micahsmommy 13

Friday 3 February 2012 4:59

First we learned today that we need to worry about catching viruses from computers, now we have to worry about STDs too?!

millz94 1

Friday 3 February 2012 5:55

your moms face :0

UnleashedKilla1 4

Friday 3 February 2012 6:09

You don't know how much I wish I was there.

cyK0tek 0

Friday 3 February 2012 6:16

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA! XD Get owned... Careful not to get an ETI(Electronically transmitted infection)!

AugustBurnsToast 14

Friday 3 February 2012 8:30

Immediately after he said that he quickly tried to correct himself but his mom was already like WHAAAAAT? Lol

Twisted_Sire 3

Friday 3 February 2012 8:58

Please be more careful when speaking, now imagine you had said that to a colleague or a teacher...

mama2b3 20

Friday 3 February 2012 9:14

Some of the comments on here arent even relevent.

sj100511 0

Friday 3 February 2012 9:45

Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?

j_cat187 19

Friday 3 February 2012 9:56

Yeah

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Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 516

You deserved it 3 295

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Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 978

You deserved it 5 503

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 056

You deserved it 17 112

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 603

You deserved it 1 854

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 503

You deserved it 5 169

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 647

You deserved it 5 291

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 232

You deserved it 168 343