Intimacy: Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive... - FML

By Anonymous - 02/02/2012 18:07 - India

Spicy

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 496

You deserved it 26 026

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By not living happily ever after - 02/12/2014 17:02 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I deleted a load of junk that was messing up my mother's computer. I don't know how I'm going to tell her I accidentally wiped out all of her wedding photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 455

You deserved it 31 464

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Spicy

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 2 574

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 485

You deserved it 44 064

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 431

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 587

Ungeeked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 04:01 - United States - Weyauwega

Today, while trying to fix a corrupted USB hard drive with my wife’s computer I accidentally wiped her laptop drive instead of clearing the external drive. I’m not allowed on her computers anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 560

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 200

You deserved it 56 611

By hb1 - 04/06/2016 18:15 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 716

You deserved it 3 148

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 14 425

NSFW

By Anonymous - 14/11/2013 10:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 669

You deserved it 47 632

Next

Top comments

21jason 9

Thursday 2 February 2012 22:43

I hope you had enough tissues

Jakesterk96 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 22:44

Take a moment with twix. Problem solved.

Comments

jmad109 3

Friday 3 February 2012 1:43

Says your from india...maybe just maybe u should be good with pcs? Dont hate my best friend is indian :P

SmittyJA24 26

Friday 3 February 2012 1:53

OP's Freudian slip is showing....

1a2b3c4d5e678D 0

Friday 3 February 2012 1:57

Awkies!!!!!!!(:

xZoeAmethystx 12

Friday 3 February 2012 2:02

Congras', you successfully made a awkward situation.

CRC_101 31

Friday 3 February 2012 2:18

A mere slip of the tongue; nothing wrong with that! ^_-

lolatyofail 0

Friday 3 February 2012 2:32

did u wear protection

madigoosmith 0

Friday 3 February 2012 3:12

DAMN U AUTOCORRECT!!!!!

caysters 12

Friday 3 February 2012 3:15

Anyone else find it funny that he failed at giving computer advice... Yet he lives in India where almost all of our tech support calls go to? I lol'd...

Cody24485 0

Friday 3 February 2012 3:19

Damn, I never thought of that, I'm going to tell myself NEVER to do that, and end up doing it anyway.

yeahreally 6

Friday 3 February 2012 3:25

ahaha thats hilarious.

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Tattoos Customers Work Mental health Annoying Bikes Motorbike Transportation Accident Money Concert Family Kids Parents Love AITA Nice Guys Health Hair Cute Divorce Cheating Weddings Sex Animals Cats Relatable DIY Teenagers Friends

The Top

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 6

Today, my girlfriend said I make too many demands of her, and that I'm being unreasonable, I’m sorry but when dating surely it’s reasonable to expect conversation, intimacy, date nights, sex on occasion. Basically, if it’s not sitting on TikTok or Instagram, anything I want she says is “unreasonable.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 159

The Top

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 137

Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 268

You deserved it 955

Today, I binge-watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting and now I'm not sure what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 759

Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 901

You deserved it 591

Today, I found out my insurance company denied my claim because they had me marked down as "male" and yet also pregnant. I now have to prove to them that I'm actually a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 483

You deserved it 1 375

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 060

You deserved it 86 705