Intimacy: Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very... - FML

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 372

You deserved it 18 254

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Same thing different taste

By lame - 20/10/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 292

You deserved it 7 554

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 104

You deserved it 3 103

By She totally did not cheat - 15/08/2018 22:00

Spicy

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 328

You deserved it 266

It's the thought that counts, or something

By Henji - 10/12/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 074

You deserved it 41 912

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Spicy

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 20:00 - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 7 327

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 615

You deserved it 9 623

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 9 872

By I_Lossed - 03/11/2009 11:02 - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 493

You deserved it 4 774

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 677

You deserved it 3 505

Next

Top comments

ChaosZirconia 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:45

...bitch.

Brown5922 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:39

ohhh haha nice gift from you... but i guess your not performing well?

Comments

dailydaisies 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:03

uhoh.

Lucicx0 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:10

id snatch that necklace back reeeal quick

jackaaa 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:10

The gift that keeps on giving.

ZING_MASTER 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:10

THREE INCH ZING!!!

spankyness 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:14

Whatever doesn't mean its small just means your girl likes them big... Its like breats to us guys. She's given you a prime opening here next year you get her breast implants and she can't say crap

ZXDriver 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 21:02

Nice lol

dwights 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:20

lol sorry dude and number 15 is a genius!

singer424 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:25

lol, karmas a bitch

LLLP 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:56

Yeah karma is at play here. I see what your saying.

sexygirl123 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:25

haha yeah 15 is right. You should so do that next time!

outlaw_lloyd 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:32

that sucks

jymi 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:34

cheap bitch.

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 88

Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 283

You deserved it 285

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 169

You deserved it 4 718

Today, I was feeling pretty cute in a black dress. Apparently, that makes me "emo" and an "online dater". FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 82

Today, I tried to get something out of a vending machine. It got stuck. I tried getting something else to knock it down. That got stuck too. I tried a third time… take a wild guess. One massive tirade later, someone came and tried to help me out. Stuck. Four times in a row. How is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 161

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 3 837

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 311

You deserved it 5 150

Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 177