Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML
Today, I'm trying to get over my OCD by wearing 2 different shoes. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML
Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Ooh, pogo sticks! Definitely worth it. But YDI for eating that much. Try to control yourself next time.
Jimboom 12
Yes I see. Another victim of Pogo dieting. Less dangerous than Yo-yo dieting but more messy.
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Comments (94)
krisleger 0
I don't get it..
alex1432 9
she puked on her shoes
jrod45 0
this doesn't make any sense
5t3ff1k4h 47
30/31 - Okay. Lesson of the day: what happens when you eat a shit ton of food and then do something active immediately after? You feel sick, right? Well, what happens if you stuff yourself so much you resemble a human sausage? Even walking makes you feel sick. So, adding jumping on a pogo stick is not a good idea. Guess what happened? They threw up on their shoes. Not very hard to deduce that, ladies and gents.
cptmorgan15 2
That is the funniest picture ever! haha, but you're an idiot.
MissBunny25 0
hahahahaha 31's picture!
ellephaba101 0
Are you jmayrod on amirite?
taelorrae011 0
lol I like how you worded that last part.
BeccaMCR4 0
Why the hell were you pogo sticking in Olive Garden? Dumbass, you deserved it.
MissBunny25 0
she wasn't pogo sticking IN olive garden, dumbass. she got out of olive garden, then chose to get on a pogo stick. I imagine she would have gotten kicked out if she was pogo sticking IN olive garden.
thatonename 7
would have made the fml better though. lol.
MissBunny25 0
haha no argument there
russianfaye 0
I think that was a joke. Eh.
619warrior281 5
your one of those people who eat before riding every ride at a carnival huh?
jt_ski17 0
Hahahaha this made me laugh
Zodaicz 4
I want a pogo stick :(
TheLastZombie 3
At least your face isn't a different color!
MLK12345 4
haha^
zowieandzander77 1
Olive Garden is NASTY!