Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML
Today, I'm trying to get over my OCD by wearing 2 different shoes. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML
Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Ooh, pogo sticks! Definitely worth it. But YDI for eating that much. Try to control yourself next time.
Jimboom 12
Yes I see. Another victim of Pogo dieting. Less dangerous than Yo-yo dieting but more messy.
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Comments (94)
Happygofucky 0
Yeah, usually any sort of strenuous activity after stuffing yourself with food is a bad idea, but you already knew that! So did it taste as good coming up as it did going down? Nomnomnom :D
skulluks 0
Not enough info.
Doortje 30
How much more info do you need?
MissBunny25 0
17, get tour face out of the trough long enough to read and process things.. OP threw up .
Jimboom 12
Yes I see. Another victim of Pogo dieting. Less dangerous than Yo-yo dieting but more messy.
russianfaye 0
I like you very much for makibg that joke.
aardvarkish 17
At least you weren't drinking and driving...
QueenOfBoredom 0
stuffing your face and riding isnt too dandy an idea either
aardvarkish 17
Depends on how you interpret that...
NeonPopRocks 14
She probably was, because what kind of sober person would do that?!!?
jacob4848 4
You should eat more easy way to change your shoe color.
IamTheWil 0
Grammar nazi ftw. And yeah, pogo sticks are never a good idea. As a guy you're essentially begging to get your sack smashed.
thatonename 7
you stand and jump? how hard can that really be?
graceinsheepwear 34
OP is female.
CTVrhythmguitari 8
haha wow that sounds like a bad combo xD I mean their breadsticks are delicious, don't get me wrong, but that's a littttttttle over the top xD especially following it with pogo sticking! lol my record on a pogo stick without stopping/falling is 308 bounces! :D
your_face 15
Huh, I wonder where that could have gone wrong.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I've never used a pogo stick to be honest :O I use... a different kind of stick... >.> <.< jk jk XD
mewtinater 0
always