Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML
Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML
Today, my seasonal allergies started. Most annoying thing by far this allergy season? I only get the urge to sneeze when I have food in my mouth. FML
Today, I have a zit on the edge of my nostril, along with severe allergies. I can no longer tell if my tears are from pain or hay fever. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
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Top comments
greeneyesFTWlol 8
My booty just tightened up from reading this.
fsomelife 26
I guess either your nose regrets what your ass does, or your ass regrets what your nose does.
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Comments (58)
BuckNekkid 22
TMI dude TMI
Ambient25 25
The only real TMI is #39
jensencrary 2
you should use Claritin clear
dodzin 9
You need a proctorhinologist.
chica349 3
I don't know what to tell you about your allergies, but for your other problem, try fresh aloe vera gel applied directly to the affected area. That, a high fiber diet and tucks witch hazel pads are your best friends.
itsjaliciaa 5
XD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!
Shikamaru_fml 11
Thats a prickly situation
RVAriverRAT88 9
They have a cream to help that, try it out
benc92 2
I really hope I don't get hemorrhoids
Mf2307 15
bless you that must suck that your hemorrhoids make u feel like that