Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML
Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML
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Top comments
IrishWildMan 3
It would appear that your analysis of not being a shy or nervous person has been proven false.
sharmen 0
I seriously thought it said farted, not fainted haha
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Comments (67)
starberries 0
A WOMAN.
aardvarkish 17
How precious!
IrishWildMan 3
It would appear that your analysis of not being a shy or nervous person has been proven false.
SadinSherman 16
Maybe the cop was really hot
hidingoutt7 0
25 wrong website
sourgirl101 29
I've never met a cop that didn't **** around on their girlfriend. And I know a lot of them. Consider yourself lucky if you're talking about this fate B.S.... Now, if you just wanted a meaningless fling, that's something else.
averagesuperhero 0
Well, not all cops cheat on their girlfriends. My cousin is a cop, and he's had the same girlfriend since he was in high school, and there's no way he'd ever cheat on her.
Mubus 0
38, that is totally untrue, maybe you know some bad cops instead.
chunky_roberto 0
YDI for thinking it was fate.
stevenmx86 8
Ya, op, totally not a shy/nervous person..
r9310 0
women is plural the word your looking for is woman
ImaginaryFoe 1
.
bassplayer27 0
Im not drunk ocifer!