Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML
Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, a pipe leaked in the store I work at. I had to smell sordid waste for more than 8 hours. FML
Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML
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Top comments
justanotherbird 19
That's hilarious. My sister tried that, but I knew it was her.
Brittneyyyy 7
And I hate it when people hate people who are smarter than them. And to Kaity111, that is actually a good source of information. You should get used to dealing with people who are smarter than you, because you're going to run into them a lot.
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Comments (138)
TheRealMidnite 0
A wise choice of action. You should go far.
makennaj 0
#97 obviously they did not teach you grammar. otherwise you'd know it is learned not learnt.
drummerp64 16
It's always so great to see Americans who don't know anything about British English. Just because it's not spelt that way in your dialect doesn't mean we're wrong.
JuanRos 0
How do you fart sulphur?
nicholasj96 9
What does sulfur smell like ?
xRezSynn 15
...what.
hulopro 16
DEMON
cwl727 33
Why did you smell like sulfur?
baka4815 21
So wait. Are you a demon?