By Anonymous - 26/7/2020 23:00

Retail stinks

Today, a pipe leaked in the store I work at. I had to smell sordid waste for more than 8 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1202

You deserved it

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Understandable

Late term

Capitalism kills

By Anonymous - Canada - Tracadie

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38697

You deserved it

6016

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By Gary - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34553

You deserved it

10346

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By engineerdude91 - United States

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33984

You deserved it

4161

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By internetloser - United States - Kewaskum

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How you may ask? He used the adult swim "we should see other people" commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3486

You deserved it

273

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By K.H - Sweden

Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44035

You deserved it

5984

Favorite

By PixieWrists - United Kingdom

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29726

You deserved it

4065

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By Like mother like daughter - United States - Aurora

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42319

You deserved it

9397

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By FML - United States - Pine Bush

Today, I was at work and a guy walked up holding his phone with the camera facing me. He then looks up at me and says, "I'm not taking a picture of you. I'm just trying to catch a Pokemon." And here I was thinking that I looked nice today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11695

You deserved it

2433

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By Tucker - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7464

You deserved it

48196

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By SayWhat - United States

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28553

You deserved it

4674

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By soldnone - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24370

You deserved it

1968

Favorite

By WeddingWoes - United States - Columbia

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28541

You deserved it

5665

Favorite

By horno - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad why the Wi-fi was down. He just replied, "Why? Horno can't get no more porno?" No, "Horno" has an assignment. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks

24632

You deserved it

2481

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2020 08:00

Hello everyone!

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2159

You deserved it

266

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By Anonymous

Do you have an evil twin?

Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6816

You deserved it

349

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46303

You deserved it

10368

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By Bunsostriker - United States - Dearborn

Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31489

You deserved it

2111

Favorite

By Nick - United States

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53251

You deserved it

37483

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By Noname - United States

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23138

You deserved it

57099

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By disgusting - United States

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46466

You deserved it

2677

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By Irrationalwife

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2289

You deserved it

193

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By Anonymous - 11/7/2020 20:01

Twinned

Today, I realized my boyfriend is a little too much like my ex, who passed away 6 years ago. Some days, it's as if I'm dating his personality doppleganger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1197

You deserved it

272

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By blower - United States

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44722

You deserved it

9265

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By armywife980

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

39698

You deserved it

7774

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By Ah piss - United States

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27027

You deserved it

3874

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35553

You deserved it

3567

Favorite

By Blah - United States

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35113

You deserved it

9124

Favorite

By skippydoda

Today, I went to the bank to open an account. It took hours for them to tell me that I needed my driver's license, passport, and residency paper. I returned with the documents. They then said that they couldn't help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1629

You deserved it

139

Favorite

By Anna - 20/12/2020 05:02

Bad timing

Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

831

You deserved it

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By sick of this shit - Canada - Kelowna

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19630

You deserved it

1522

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Just a prank, bro!

Today, I've been told that the test I have tomorrow, which I've been studying for, is not on 'Parent and Child Relationships' but on 'Scotland's Fishing Communities'. My brother thought it would be funny to hide the real booklet, and make up his own one for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1516

You deserved it

261

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By Average - United States

Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34641

You deserved it

3869

Favorite

By poormum - Australia - Carlton North

Today, I was unsuccessful in getting a job at a supermarket. The same supermarket I used to work at. I now have a degree but can't even get a job at a place I used to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9691

You deserved it

818

Favorite

By hopeless1 - United States

Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

104608

You deserved it

5808

Favorite

By rayraydayday - United States - Englewood

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31238

You deserved it

10931

Favorite

By wtf dad - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40302

You deserved it

3291

Favorite

By ninja breakup?

Today, my boyfriend of six years came home wearing a ninja suit. When I asked why, he said "These are my breakup clothes. I'm breaking up with you." He then screamed, threw a plastic shuriken at me and ran away. It hit me in the breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3505

You deserved it

331

Favorite

By ThisGuy775 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31358

You deserved it

2961

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, our cat died. My husband and I had a touching bonding moment together. Our relationship has been strained for months, and I thought this could bring us closer. He decided to bring up politics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5873

You deserved it

574

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By Sylvania - United States

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77528

You deserved it

5554

Favorite

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 29

#7925769 - Sunday 26 July 2020 23:42

So that implies you have a job? I'm sure lots of people feel terrible for you.

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 29

#7925769 - Sunday 26 July 2020 23:42

So that implies you have a job? I'm sure lots of people feel terrible for you.