Health: Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me...

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 00:46 - United States - Oregon

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 797

You deserved it 2 132

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Same thing different taste

By FirstStringQB - 01/10/2011 22:45 - United States

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 4 731

By Shameful - 18/01/2012 19:57 - United States

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 844

You deserved it 3 784

By Icci - 12/12/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 694

You deserved it 37 803

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 558

You deserved it 12 422

By Anonymous - 08/11/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 8 036

By ouch - 29/01/2010 20:19 - United States

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 235

You deserved it 5 279

By Wilson - 04/10/2018 22:00

Today, I fractured my tibia, fibula, and tore a tendon in my ankle. How? You might ask. By stepping in a hole at soccer practice. Now I’ll be out for the entire season with months of rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 210

By LizLiao - 14/04/2009 07:50 - United States

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 859

You deserved it 7 778

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By Highschoolsucks - 18/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 136

By Bonecrusher - 27/03/2015 22:50 - United States - Sonoma

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 410

You deserved it 5 338

SeahorseGuy 7

Tuesday 21 August 2012 9:03

Dude, that's why I don't play football. That must have hurt. Hope you are feeling better.

Kiki242 19

Tuesday 21 August 2012 9:04

That's one of the ultimate FMLs for a guy.

Comments

Roxanna1029 14

Saturday 31 August 2013 22:58

YDI for playing football

phantomxbg 17

Friday 8 April 2016 16:04

Get low

H4H 15

Saturday 2 July 2016 19:33

Did anyone else physically cringe reading this?

Matthew Lane 3

Saturday 24 June 2017 21:41

I've had that happen before.. on my I wasn't using a cup? hope you feel better man, love all you football players out there!!

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Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 965

The Top

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 656

You deserved it 54 124

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 4 420

Today, during gym class, I wanted to show off in front of my classmates by doing a headstand in the middle of the gym. I wanted to hold the position, except my shirt came out of my pants and exposed my belly and breasts to all my classmates. Everyone burst out laughing. It was so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 917

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 907

You deserved it 2 387

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 574

You deserved it 2 909

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 379

You deserved it 1 911

Same thing different taste

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