Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
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Top comments
katelng09 16
That's why you're supposed to sneeze into your elbow.
delichick 27
Agrees with the other comments, sneeze into your elbow. Do you not have tissues with you? I dont always have tissues but Ive kept restaurant napkins in my backpack or in my pockets just in case. Put yourself in another persons shoes, would you shake hands with someone who just sneezed into their hand?
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Comments (52)
mattrd_fml 31
you sneezed in your hand??? YDI op
ruudseriesx 25
Don't shake other people's hands! It's bad karma!!
vandj8 9
It's just your soul trying to escape, so what does it matter if your soul gets on your neighbor's hand?
BananEnigma 24
Ectoplasmmmmmmmmm
fhksuaifk 16
Use your other hand lol. Just tell them what happened
watermelon_bae 15
Use your other hand.
mrBearBear 11
Your post says hand. Could you not have used your other hand?
Calingaladha 21
Just hold out your hands together and say "This is the boogie of Christ..."
delichick 27
Awesome comment :)
Calingaladha 21
Well, at least all that Catholic mass I was forced to attend did some good...
BodyElectric 18
This is why you don't cough into your hand.
BananEnigma 24
Aaaaaaannnnnddddddd it's not a cough......
cootiequeen4444 11
please tell me you didn't shake some poor fool's hand with your freshly goober'd up hand... Then it wouldn't be eff your life. it would be effective theirs...
cootiequeen4444 11
that noob moment when you wait for the countdown to go away so you can edit your comment only to find out that during the countdown is the only time you can edit.. sigh...