Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, the school called my dad telling him they want to put me on a diet, because they're worried about my weight. FML
Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I overheard the popular kids say that they were planning on going to the local fast food restaurant to take pictures of the obese people that go there. Not only do I work there, but my family and I were planning on having dinner there tonight. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for ordering too much fast food. The only reason I’m doing it is because there isn’t any food in the house. Not only that but I’m also trying to gain weight. FML
Today, while at my mom’s house, my mom told me that I need to seriously curb my food intake. Then I went to my dad’s house and he told me I need to gain weight. I can’t win here. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
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Top comments
chocchipcookies 0
Your dad's an asshole, no offence to you...
Cinn_fml 23
This is what parents do; embarrass their kids at any chance they get. Besides, if the guys got put off by his words then you don't want them anyway. And you know how much you weigh and if you're happy with it, then let it be and just laugh it off.
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Comments (106)
MyyLifeeIssFcked 0
That sucks... But hey, at least ur dad is being honest and straight forward
persimmon 0
hahaha. you'll look back at that and laugh :)
KrisLorraine 0
LMFAO @61. Best comment yet.
afallucco 0
Now that's a smart dad. Ill have to use that one when I have kids.
Binkding 6
he's just trying to help you out, maybe those guys liked chubby girls
justbigbs 6
your pop's being protective and insecure at the same time, not sure to make heads or tails. but You never know what those guys like until you talk to them, beware of the ones who just want to get in your pants, 99.90 % of us do,
JosieBongs 0
**** Arbys. The smell of it makes me puke. BK errday.
JosieBongs 0
**** Arbys. The smell of it makes me puke. BK errday.
KingOfTheBrocean 2
Listen to your dad, the only mistake he has ever made in is bro career is banging the fatty that had you. He is just trying to make sure that you have some opportunities to ride the pound town express by some blacked out bro who doesn't care who he plays "hide the pickle" with.
zak1412 0
ur dad is amazing may I have his autograph