Today, as revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego into my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML
Today, right after preparing a gourmet plate of dry-aged steak with freshly cooked mashed potatoes, I stepped on my son's Lego and dropped my plate. I stood there for 5 minutes, crying. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, I jumped up to touch the ceiling, then I landed on one of my younger sibling's Lego. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
That kid is brutal! Definitely deserves an old fashioned spanking for that
tdap88 7
I think you may need to read that again
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Comments (202)
zomgbies 17
You raised the little bastard, try disciplining him sometime! YDI
abylaunch 10
What an evil genius!
Wowlookatthat 15
No one should have to suffer that pain. Sorry OP for your little devill~
ds4217 1
This is a simple solution. I would throwout the Legos (or give them to goodwill). If you can behave in my house with your toys then one of them has to go and I love you, so goodbye legos!
DocDrose 20
you need to discipline that kid
genericfmluser 17
Please tell me you tanned that child's behind.
DeathBunny8 9
I'm questioning how you stepped on more than one... After the first one you could have just picked them up or swept them out of the way.. Or had the child do so.
Manchee 3
Why does it say 5Ml and not FML?
Candissimo 13
What is 5ML?
polarbearpiss 15
aha dont ground kids idiot