Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML
Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML
Today, after a 12-hour shift, I went to a grocery store still in scrubs. Someone asked me for medical advice in the cereal aisle. While explaining I couldn’t diagnose them, I knocked over a display of pasta sauce with my cart. It shattered everywhere. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
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Top comments
VoodooGypsy 2
I always used to put my face in the mist when I was a kid. Not a big deal.
CallMeHush 1
Oh the HORROR!
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Comments (151)
SupaVyzor167 0
OP, you seem like the type to stop in the middle of the street and look around when an approaching vehicle honks their horn at you. Or you're the World's Most Successful Daydreamer. Farmer's market, FTW!
superbadd 0
that would be fun
MissXxBipolarXx 0
Omg, lolz wtf happened there? FYL indeed!
superbadd 0
lolz this is probably gunna get deleted but UR NUMBER 69!!! rofl
the_flirtt 0
wow lol
Trollz4daLULZ 2
ROFLOLOMGWTFBBQ!!! MAYBEE U 2 SHUD 69!!! er, wait, you're probably both dudes IRL. Ew.
the_flirtt 0
they don't look like dudes to me ?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
do you think I'm an anteater IRL?!
mrmaks18 7
op it's there so customers can wash their hair whilst buying carrots the trollies are there for customers to play go carts with and the sound you hear when you walk through the doors is a start of a race nowadays they've installed showers at car washes if your ever passing through
jinso 0
how dis an fml, oh no u got sprayed in the face by a little mist
aardvarkish 17
Who the **** buys carrots? Bugs Bunny and Wyle E. Coyote, I guess....
FFML_314 12
Lol, you don't buy carrots? They're delicious! :P
Trollz4daLULZ 2
why would Wyle. E. Coyote buy carrots?! And anteaters > aardvarks.
aardvarkish 17
Wyle E. Coyote buys carrots from ACME to catch Bugs Bunny! And anteaters = aardvarks! Do you live in a vacuum?
aardvarkish 17
I don't care about other anteaters. Aardvarks eat ants and are also called anteaters. But that's not the only reason I love them.
kfrizzle2 4
Lol Wyle. E. Coyote isn't trying to catch Bugs Bunny though. He's trying to catch Roadrunner. Beep beep VROOOOM!!
FFML_314 12
Elmer Fudd completes his murderous task in a very gruesome episode of Family Guy! He didn't even need carrots.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Aardvarks eat ants and termites, but they are NOT the same animal as an anteater. It's like saying a lion and a tiger are the same animal. And yes, as a matter of fact, I DO live in a vacuum. A Dyson, actually, so it's quite nice.
FFML_314 12
Aardvarks eat anteaters for breakfast.
kfrizzle2 4
I don't eat breakfast. =]
Trollz4daLULZ 2
No way! Anteaters rule. Aardvarks are only mediocre. Why'd you get rid of the pic w/ the Elvis impersonator?
FFML_314 12
OMG aardvarks give me a sense of self-worth. Well, he was taking away all the attention that I long for on this website. I can't have that. I can bring it back if you'd like. Only because you're comments also give me a sense of self-worth.
kfrizzle2 4
Lol I like all of Anna's pic's. They are very Anna-esque.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
"you're comments"?! alkjngfadnglandgljnadkljgnadlngljndvbisfnbk vxlksnbiskjbns vjcnz cvzjbnxz u bin reeding this websight two long and every1 else's bad spelling N grammer is infecting u.
FFML_314 12
DAMNIT! Lol! That is 3 times in one night. I'm going to blame it on the exhaustion, yup that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :P
Trollz4daLULZ 2
I just did something similar in a different FML :(
FFML_314 12
I saw! I will not surrender to this fight! I will march on and continue to correct other people and thoroughly piss them off. I think it's satisfying lol. Together we stand. It is 7:08 AM, I'm at work and well quite honestly, I don't have the slightest clue as to what I'm talking about. Zzzzzzzz
aardvarkish 17
The Aardvark will not be upstaged by some grimy anteater with hair on his back!
aardvarkish 17
I guess my comment got lost in the shuffle. Anyway, go to youtube and search video 8ojEnlRVr7s frame 02:46 That's Wyle E. Coyote using a carrot to get Bugs Bunny. (Yeah, Aardvarkish FTW... don't even mention it...)
ThatBrownChick 0
this kinda made my day. :] LOL
bernzz 0
Oh noes water :O
Carbine11 1
For anyone putting there hands and face into the mist, it contains bleach..... just an FYI
StaciCarol 2
I knew it. :o I thought they put some sort of chemical in with the water.
Asstazztic 8
OP isn't used to getting sprayed on the face ;)