Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years-old. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Ouch FYL OP, cockblocked by a bird-flinging kid!
EnterSandman_fml 20
Damn, this is like a double FML. Losing the girl, getting stuck listening to whiny children. It could've been worse though, there could've been a snoring fat man with horrendous BO in the seat in front of you.
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Comments (75)
Old_Iron_Sides 6
You would've still had to listen to the kid screaming, whether they sat behind you, or beside of you. Who's to say you would've hit it off with the woman if she did sit beside you? Even if you did, what would it get you?
xxmollyxx 25
A date, perhaps.
patrickalamo 48
Grow some balls and say I'm saving the seat for someone. YDI
olpally 33
Son of a bitch...time to hit the airport bar for a drink... :D
justsleeptight 0
Put a pig costume on his mom and watch the kid chase her around.
Bena_Round2long 2
Sounds like a hoe fo sho anyways!
kat4x1track 5
Sucks to be you. I would have punched those people.
yenidewi 11
forever alone ... :p ... lolz
greeneyebeauty9 28
the manners people have today give me no hope in the human race..
Meme1988 18
She is ****! You got saved by this potato head boy
_wraith 15
What is with everyone assuming this woman is a ****/hoe/man-using-woman? We're not giving nearly enough context in this FML to arrive to such a conclusion, so I'm curious why commenters are jumping on that bandwagon?
CharresBarkrey 16
Everyone? There are 2 comments saying this, not including yours...