Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years-old. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Ouch FYL OP, cockblocked by a bird-flinging kid!
EnterSandman_fml 20
Damn, this is like a double FML. Losing the girl, getting stuck listening to whiny children. It could've been worse though, there could've been a snoring fat man with horrendous BO in the seat in front of you.
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Comments (75)
Tezoma 28
Well, she seems fine talking to anyone so I wouldn't see it as a huge loss, though being stuck with a screaming child is worse. Hope it wasn't a long flight, OP.
LiesAndMischief 4
Why does it seem like everyone always gets stuck with obnoxious people sitting next to them on planes?
Missusluv313 9
And there is always a crying baby! Every single time I've flown, there has been a screaming baby on the plane.
dead247 13
I guess I'm the lucky one. Although I did have a flight where someone smelt really bad and couldn't figure out who.
samsaf1989 5
If you were that interested in the attractive woman you could've got up and made an effort to speak to her. But you didn't want to lose your seat so you stayed with the child, your choice mate.
YourBuddyElmo 5
I know, right? OP should have suavely approached and said something oh-so sexy and romantic like "Would you like to grab some coffee while we wait for our flight?" Heck, even if the only thing around were a couple of vending machines, it doesn't sound like this woman would mind, IYKWIM....
doglover100 29
Some people just have no manners.
laurenlovesjb 20
Better luck next time, OP:(
Enslaved 38
Is the OP on a plane? I would think flights all have assigned seating. I was under the impression that he's waiting in the airport terminal, which he could have moved seats away from that screaming kids.
samsaf1989 5
You're under the right impression, OP was "waiting to fly home" therefore clearly he could've moved seats. But then again he may have been waiting for the plane to lift off I.e still "waiting to fly home" ....
darwinism 30
Most "low cost" airlines like Wizzair and Easyjet in Europe do not assign you a specific seat so first in best dressed. If you are not quick you can miss the girl and write an FML about it.
KiddNYC1O 22
As long as I'm ASSigned to a window seat!
_krystallynn_ 11
Angry Birds is some serious shit.
CuriousAlien 7
Mmm......, you just gotta love planes.
kirby1964 20
I wonder if the attractive women might have been a player. A women who uses her good looks to get stuff from guys. Just a thought.
mimiminx 23
What exactly led you to even have this kind of train of thought?! Ridiculous! All she did was smile and gesture for him to sit next to her, why would it mean she's a player and wants stuff off him? You sound pretty bitter and twisted to me!
raraisbang 12
Woman*
redmane 21
So, if a woman smiles at a man and it just so happens that she's attractive, she's a player? With that logic, the majority of women are players.
dead247 13
Or she could have been a secret spy sent to assassinate Op! She ended up getting distracted preflight and left Op with enough time to post before he died.
8IamChris8 4
Haha sounds like karma