Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
misspeg 0
people can be so immature sometimes! FYL
zombienightmare 0
your neighbor must think your a dick
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Comments (72)
fili450r 0
ha, the penis fairy did a bit more than draw a penis on a friend's van... she created DICKTOPIA!! and all the little people on it. (i think he ended up with 12 dicktopia's on his van) then, she drew a penis "squirting on a vagaigai.
etantao 0
It does suck, but funny as hell!
doof_fisch 2
It could have been worse -- with that penis on it, your van could have been jacked.
code_red 0
Buy a gun. They will stop. Messing with a man's car is like sleeping with his wife. If a gun is no good for you use a baseball bat, taser, knife, tonfa, etc. and sneak up on him or use a chainsaw. He may hear you coming, but nothing leaves an impression like a chainsaw.
keitapawp 0
the OP is from the UK, it's illegal to have a gun here :)
ham_salad 0
cockpiss partridge :(
GitYaSum 0
omg! someone did he exact same thing to my car. except i kniw who it was lol.
lameshow 0
that's actually amazing. live it up.
TrisGower 0
I would be the person to do that lol.
what_the_fail 0
It was Scott! Hes a dick!
WONDERWB 2
That's called vandalism.