Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
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Top comments
TheLadyOpal 30
You're in Australia, you're excused.
UncleCaitlyn 21
Can never be too safe. At least you didn't skip to burning your house down right away
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Comments (49)
abby1212 27
More like F your mom's life for being woken up for a problem you could've solved on your own.
starlandmarie 22
Good thing fire wasn't used to kill the spider...... your whole house burning to the ground... all over a Halloween decoration!
FemskyD 26
You got pranked by your cat "classic" ;')
corky1992 33
Lmao! if it makes you feel any better I would have most likely done the same thing lol. Those thing look realistic when caught off guard.
SecundusSecunda 27
Most spiders wont even bite you Why do people instantly want to kill them?
corky1992 33
Because they're creepy as ****
bogwarlock 19
the anti-spider circlejerk on this site, and most sites, is annoying, as well as anyone who dares to break it getting downvoted to hell.
sturschaedel 27
1) Phobia. I have it, though I'm getting better at managing it. 2) OP lives in Australia, where dangerous spiders are more common than elsewhere.
VeganDarkLight 31
I don't understand it either. Just because you dislike somebody/-thing doesn't give you the right to kill them. I find a lot of people scary or disgusting, am I allowed to end their lives because of that now?
ThatLoneIyGuy 8
Dont bame u. Have u seen the size of Australian spiders?
MandieL 27
I think this is one of the reasons every door in my house is always closed. My dog would ransack every room looking for food and/or bugs
Oyas12 14
Meanwhile, in Australia
Robyn_mori 12
considering the amount of deadly spider especially in Australia, I don't blame you one bit. I'm glad you're ok :)
IIIIRowdy 5
It's a small spider for god's sake... But wondering how elephants are afraid of mice