Today, after months of my (now ex) boyfriend telling me he wished I was blonde with big boobs, I finally retaliated with "I wish you were a redhead with a big dick, but you don't see me complaining." He cried and said I should love him for who he is. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML
Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, my previously blond boyfriend dyed his hair dark brown and shaved his beard. When he got home, I thought he was an intruder and screamed. Now he thinks I don't love him because I didn't recognize him. FML
Today, I had my hair done for the first time in 3 years. I loved it. My boyfriend told me I look like his ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
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Top comments
Mungolikecandy 19
Poor little buttercup. The irony is often delicious.
pjsr 33
Besides the shallowness of his statement, he could easily see your hair color and boob size before you ever went out. You, on the other hand, absent any sexting, had no way of knowing his dick size before dating.
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Comments (36)
ChristianH39 30
If you throw punches you better take em' too, this is more of an FML for him.
chioch 13
I guess he hadn't heard of the saying "treat others the way you want to be treated"...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
If he wants a chick with blonde hair and big boobs, tell him to go date a Barbie doll.
distortedcognition 17
Well played!