By Charli - 13/08/2018 22:37

Today, after months of my (now ex) boyfriend telling me he wished I was blonde with big boobs, I finally retaliated with "I wish you were a redhead with a big dick, but you don't see me complaining." He cried and said I should love him for who he is. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 723
You deserved it 339

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Mungolikecandy 19

Poor little buttercup. The irony is often delicious.

Besides the shallowness of his statement, he could easily see your hair color and boob size before you ever went out. You, on the other hand, absent any sexting, had no way of knowing his dick size before dating.

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Nope. She sank to his level to make him see how much of a jerk he was being, but it backfired, so that makes them as bad as each other. She had plenty of time to leave when he first started making the comments, but stayed with him until it became too much, and decided that the best way to resolve it was to fight fire with fire. Which obviously didn't work, because it never does, so she can't complain that it went wrong. Although, now that I've said all of this, it occurs to me that this is a pretty esoteric way of thinking, and most people will see this as him being an idiot, and OP doing something ironic to make a point, costing her a boyfriend as a result. I can't feel sorry for someone who fails at something which will obviously end in failure.

ThatGuy9679 13

You know so much about the couple based off of 3 sentences. Were you there during the conversation and when is the wedding?

MamaChey 24

Losing this particular boyfriend doesn’t sound like much of a loss.

What I know is from other people doing the same thing before. It's common sense that this would go wrong, something which seems to be in short supply these days. Oh, and the wedding is next June, and you're not invited.

Hellblazer_Sith 25

OP sounds better off without a jerk like that.

Mungolikecandy 19

Poor little buttercup. The irony is often delicious.

Besides the shallowness of his statement, he could easily see your hair color and boob size before you ever went out. You, on the other hand, absent any sexting, had no way of knowing his dick size before dating.

I don't care what his "type" is, that's just insensitive.

You want a redhead? Are you sure he wasn’t crying from laughing?

No, they are not. Only women redheads are hot. The men are disgusting. I see you’re British and a victim of royal propaganda. If Prince Harry were an ordinary guy, Meghan Markle wouldn’t pee on him if he were on fire.

live_to_love 25

I am not British either :) I am French.

Redheads are notoriously packing heat and are hot 😉

@melissa: You’re location says London, so I’m sure you’re bombarded with the redheaded-man-is-sexy brainwashing. “Billions” started great, but it’s become tired and stale. @chloe: that’s just because their pubic region looks like it’s on fire.

Guylly90 8

He sounds like a moron, tell him to pull himself together, & invest in a penis pump.

"I should love you for who you are? You mean a shallow-minded asshole?"

Well, he’s halfway there. He doesn’t have a big dick, he is a big dick.

At least you could have made those changes. We men with small dicks are stuck with the little pricks. Not saying what he did was ok, just a comment.

What changes? Spending thousands so someone can cut open her chest and stuff it with silicone, risking horrible side effects and body dysphoria because Mr. Tiny Weiner wants her to have bigger boobs? She's not Mrs Potatohead where you can just randomly stick body parts to her lmao He could have spared himself from the comment about his small peepee, you know, but he started this and just got as good as he gave, obviously couldn't handle that. Why does he not get his penis surgically enlarged? I think there's also special forms of strap-ons he can put his pickle in and mask it as a cucumber. Pretty sure that's less invasive than a boob job.

samomaha 17

Great response! My thoughts exactly, mssileas.

nothing as satisfying as reading “now-ex” on an fml