Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

Drama queen

Today, I found out that the woman I could fall in love with is dating a friend of mine. I think I will end up alone, and die alone. FML

Never forget

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML