Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 35
Well, if you couldn't woman up and just tell him how you feel, you can't exactly complain when he dates other people.
gracehi 33
The friend zone: Not just for boys.
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Comments (66)
dafakeslimshady 12
ydi for not actually telling him your feelings
sharond23 10
nobody is making you. stop acting like they are.