Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
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Top comments
beddington 7
He's just reminding the puppy who's house it really is.
firefly319 7
I'd suggest crating him but that's probably illegal...
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Comments (72)
Shrouds 14
spray him with a bottle and take him to the puppy pad.
waffule365 16
Time to train both of them lol
buckdharma 38
I hope your son isn't double jointed.
Atrocyty 16
Start taking him out into the yard.
zilla52 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you should. have known. ydi
THE_A_TEEN 28
Not every. Kid pees. on everything. they see.
Dixbfloppin 11
why are. we talking. like this.
roachyroo 5
Known. Better. Than. To get. A dog
supportcommand 17
I just read. All of. These. Comments. In William. Shatners. Voice.
Dixbfloppin 11
Stick his nose in it. That'll teach 'im.
ViviMage 40
19, the teaches the dog nothing. Catch in the act or he won't understand. And you then have to clean his nose before he aspirates it into his lungs and gets pneumonia.
toelie 26
I think they meant the son's nose.
happle 21
45, that teaches the kid nothing. If you don't catch him immediately, he won't understand. Then you'd have to clean his nose before he breathes it in and gets pneumonia.
nnnope 26
I'm pretty sure puppies pee on things because they have limited bladder control...
StaceeeP 23
I always thought that too, and that they only started marking their territory as they matured because that's what my dogs did
ViviMage 40
Puppies are tiny. Their bladders are tiny. They haven't fully mastered control and where to go that is allowed, like outside or on a pad. They can have bed wetting or accidents for the same reason our kids do. Small breeds keep a tiny bladder with limited water storage.
DDCA 24
Establish dominance!
TheNewGuy03 29
You should have appended that he will get dat ass spanked if he tried the same thing. But you know what young ones do with knowledge -- they abuse the shit out of it until they cease to benefit from it.
KareBear7364 5
I think I might be the only one to find this cute lol it's terrible of course, but cute lol