Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
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Top comments
beddington 7
He's just reminding the puppy who's house it really is.
firefly319 7
I'd suggest crating him but that's probably illegal...
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Comments (72)
heimdallr 14
Edit: Damn thing put me at the bottom and not under the first comment. Redacted.
ViviMage 40
Neuter the dog. Our family has a purebred beagle they wanted to stud but he marked all over the house! He peed on fresh laundry folded and ready to go in your room because it wasn't perfumed, tore open couches and ripped the foam out to pee on it, he even peed inside the oven. It wasn't until Basil tried to bite my cousin in a dominance display (complete with shaft) that the men stopped holding their groin empathetically at the thought of a neuter surgery. It was either neuter or put him down. And his line was culled because of genetic seizures, he wasn't the best to stud. As far as your son, unless you have an interest in a kind of Italian singing voice...... Thankfully the same urine removing product like Nature's Miracle works for human pee. But you need to really get into the carpet, floorboards, and grout. And kids have gotten fined in the news for peeing outside.
Lizzy500 16
Anti Icky Poo is even better-google it. They've even got a nice video on how to use it. Because nobody wants their living room to smell like a New York City subway.
pssecho 9
So apparently in our society, if a dog pees all over our stuff it's "oh, how cute,it's just a puppy", when a 4 year old does the same..it's a fml. Am I the only who would have said fml in both cases?
roachyroo 5
I would have gotten rid of the dog
happle 21
Would you get rid of your kid if s/he had an accident?
Fsvb 32
When I read the first half of the sentence, I saw this coming. So.. Maybe you should've explained to him that this is what DOGS do, not what humans do and that the dog isn't allowed to do that in the house either..
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well let's hope he's not gonna want to mark you at HIS mommy :)
SaysOfRay 3
Looooool!! Quality...
Satoaoi 13
crate him
eatmyshortssss1 8
Please do not crate your dog or rub his nose in his mess AFTER he's made a mess. Crates are supposed to be your dog's home and a place of safety and comfort. No dog realizes that the pile of poo on the ground came from them; they have no self-awareness. Instead they wonder why in the world you're shoving shit in their face. So, unless you caught your dog in the act of peeing/pooping somewhere it's not supposed to, punishing it after the fact does nothing for either of you.
Evilphatpandah 5
I swear I've read this one before. Anyways I think it depends on the breed and age of the puppy. Of course a tiny 8 week puppy is gonna pee everywhere because it can't hold. Older puppies will mark their territory. My dog started marking everything at 6 months until he was fixed at 8 months.
Mifflicious 18
Seriously.. Puppies DO NOT pee inside to mark their territory - They do it because they can't control their bladder and isn't yet taught that it's not okay to pee inside. Why on EARTH did you get a puppy if you don't even know that? Open a book for god's sake before you get an animal.