By some things never change - 28/11/2012 23:04 - Canada - Maple Ridge
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Its certainly not a good way to try to end a rift and it's definitely a lose-lose situation for OP. In a sick kind of way the animosity may have started out of concern for her daughter. Spitting in the food may be more to do with being ignored for 4 years than the husband. Avoid her for a while but don't leave it too late.
Clearly your mom is just a really immature person. You should tell her that when she's ready to actually be civil you're just a phone call away, but until then you won't be visiting again. Put the ball in her court, and if she never grows up enough to stop acting this way you've done nothing wrong.
Sometimes it's not a grudge that keeps you away from someone; it's the fact that they don't deserve to be in your life. My dad, for example, kicked me out of his house because his wife doesn't like me. I don't hold a grudge against him for that. I already decided I didn't want to live with a jealous and scornful woman. I just refuse to speak to him or see him because that and many other things that he and his wife (and the rest of his family) have done to me.
She sounds like someone you should avoid. If you (for some reason) wish to have a relationship with her, go without your husband. Personally I would avoid her. She invites you over so she can spit in the food she's serving you, that does not sound like a good person to have in your life.
What an absolute cow.
Dang your mother is an ass. That's disgusting as hell. Or maybe it's a family recipe and she has been doing it for years you just didn't know....