Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
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Top comments
cutiepie343 7
Love the OP's username!! Lolz
EwanSmith 2
at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...
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Comments (213)
LennyComa 39
Maybe it just got stage fright
ScotsLassie 6
Your difficulty may have been psychological rather than physical. In which case this can be more easily dealt with. You can get good self help books on sexual dysfunction, I would recommend a cbt book. Good luck and try not to worry as this will make it worse if it is related to performance anxiety.
Epikouros 32
Well, I understand he may be angry at his penis, but torture seems a bit radical. Oh wait, you mean the other CBT? Yeah, that makes sense. I would also suggest trying to have oral sex only next time. The would lower the pressure to perform.
ClaremoreZebra 8
Dude if you're 23, and haven't been laid in 5 years. I don't think you're gonna be needing a functioning penis.
effedml 5
I love your pic. :)
ClaremoreZebra 8
Thank you! Haha
ruinner 4
Nature's way of saying no hard feelings.
Steve95401 49
Brokedick Mountain
Steve95401 49
I wish I knew how to quit you!
lubbockgaymale 7
sounds like you didn't REALLY want sex with this person, maybe?????
cooptx 0
So that implies that you had sex for the last time at 18...
Zomg_Okay 27
Have you been living under a rock, by any chance? It's sad but far younger people have sex... and at 18, OP would have been considered an adult so technically, there's nothing wrong with it.
KiddNYC1O 22
Do you lack comprehension skills, 59?
cooptx 0
Just pondering. Never said anything was wrong with that.
Zomg_Okay 27
61 - Yep. :)
ussr 1
You're just dumb. Sorry ;(
KiddNYC1O 22
Try sex with a male. You being the receiver, of course.
IndigoAcrylic 9
Notice how OP said he hasn't been intimate with a WOMAN for 5 years...he never said anything about gentlemen. So maybe he has been having nice hot sex with men over that 5 year span. So when a women came into the scene his penis was like BITCH NO! xD CHAA CHINNG! ;D
Levvy 22
There's a horrible thought. A heterosexual person with homosexual genitals. That wouldn't be a happy situation at all for them!
jobsman99 0
Hard to believe but go online watch some good **** and jack off a few times. The find the gal again put you dick in her mouth and bring the **** back up. Then the rest should cum out ok. Like others have said its in your head.
KiddNYC1O 22
So punny!
perdix 31
There's no need to be so hard on yourself. Until about 15 years ago, you'd be shit out of luck as an impotent limp-dick. Now, they call it ED and it's the most treated "disease" in America. You've got your Viagra, your Levitra and your Cialis, and it seems that all TV is paid for by commercials for these. Every school kid can recite that for erections lasting more than 4 hours, you should seek immediate medical attention. Your problem sucks but you are lucky to live in a time where it can be fixed for a few bucks, instead of living in shame for having an inadequate dick.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
$130.00 later haha. I had an older man tell me once, as he was picking up his Viagra, that the people who make these ridiculous prices don't want old people to have sex.