Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
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Top comments
cutiepie343 7
Love the OP's username!! Lolz
EwanSmith 2
at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...
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Comments (213)
xSorry_fml 10
It is all in your head, unless your taking certain meds or have blood issues. Nerves and having high expectations of yourself is most likely what's going on. I suggest talking with your lady friend and having a couple drinks prior. The Kay Jewelers commercial may say every kiss begins with Kay, I'm guessing it mostly begins with alcohol.
Levvy 22
There are more potential culprits for ED than just circulatory and psychological problems, and alcohol can easily CAUSE temporary erectile failure, for both those very reasons, even while enhancing libido. There's a reason the phrase "whiskey dick" exists. I really can't second this advice, not that I fault xSorry's good intentions.
linkinpark98 24
You did say it had been 5 whole years... Just try again sometime later, and maybe you'll achieve a stiffy. (:
perdix 31
You ought to go to NC and find "Sex is Unnatural" Girl from yesterday. I'm sure she'd love a dude with an inoperable dong.
DevilBoi69x 0
LMAO! Best comment of the day!
juturnaamo 29
OP-if you've been suffering from the kind of crippling social anxiety that keeps people from getting laid for 5 years, anti anxiety meds can cause ED. It'll work again if you can get weaned off of them.
Levvy 22
Part of me wants to nod along with your reassurance and legitimate advice, but part of me wants to swat you lightly for your presumption. I'm just going to go thumbs-neutral, I think.
rishkatr 3
There's this spider who's bite has the side effect of giving you a hard on for 4hours. Enrol for the tests :p
perdix 31
I've always had my suspicions about Toby McGuire.
drcynic 4
At least you had the chance
TipOfTheHat 10
Use it or lose it.
sandinthewaves 5
Probably just putting to much Pressure on yourself it's all in your head man
aFreedom127 9
Didn't you jerk off at least once in the last five years. Surely you would have realized you never had an erection or otherwise it is more likely performance anxiety.
oneEAR1i 3
Same thing happened to me. Woulda swore I wrote this FML lol. Start working out that's what I've been doing now I go like a champ!