Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML
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Top comments
cutiepie343 7
Love the OP's username!! Lolz
EwanSmith 2
at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...
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Comments (213)
writergirl23 19
Wake him up slowly, if you haven't even masturbated in those 5 yrs, then I'm sorry but u have an increased risk of prostate cancer. Yes, Christians, masturbation stops buildup of rotten cum in the prostate, which is the cause of prostate cancer.
Mauskau 36
Nice.
Levvy 22
Er, no. Cancer is a buildup of overgrown rogue cells, not of rotten sperm. Sperm could be indirectly responsible if it were carcinogenic (causing other cells in the prostate to mutate and become cancerous), but it isn't, so that's not it either. Even if one or both of these WERE true, sperm is stored in the cauda region of the epididymis, not the prostate. And lastly, at least when functioning properly, males will eject sperm naturally in their sleep ("wet dreams") if they are not ejaculating regularly in their day to day lives, which would make buildup of "rotten sperm" impossible anyway at least to a point. You're actively misinforming people about both cancer AND the male reproductive system. Since I infer from your screen name you lack the latter, and from simple hope that you lack the former, I encourage you to exercise a little more care in checking your information against reliable sources, instead of just blandly trusting friends/the internet. It's a lot harder to verify this kind of information when you lack the experience and/or anatomy involved, so it means you need to check your facts more cautiously.
Djdeandre 1
ah! bro that sucks sorry
Eiregal2 10
Poor op. But today's society is too obsessed with sex, people nearly go into a shock coma when I tell them I have been celibate for 8 years. Don't worry to much about it Hun, just let it go slowly and if you really want it, it should happen.
ishtarfire1 0
relax drink some liquor add a porno check ur system them call another girl
Drumming_fml 7
Props for not masturbating.
sic22 0
Hahahahahahahaha
ExToRtiOn 0
Viagra
Frxnkie 0
Google "your brain on ****." It deals with some interesting things linking ED and the abuse of ****. Hope this helps.
Dr_Kash 3
Stop watching **** so much.
TJ_95 0
I guess that means you gay