Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Kinda funny. What made you think it was for a high five? Have you never been out to eat before?
teentee401 37
Well doesn't the waiter usually pick up the plate, or say something? Instead of just holding their hand out in silence?
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Comments (168)
someeguy 0
I need to try this in a restaurant sometime! AWESOME! xDDD And yeah, I totally agree with #4...who CARES if it's not awful and depressing? It made me laugh, and THAT's why I come to this site. Not every FML has to be the end of the world for that person! Also, look at this from the OP's perspective if you still fail to see how it's an FYL. I mean, if you'd just done that, you'd be sooo embarrassed, and you'd want to get out of that restaurant as fast as possible...who cares if it's not going to ruin his life? It's still a perfectly good FML!
ilyjg 0
lmfao blonde moment for you
manoverboard 0
#112 - you just made the page reeeally wide. Loser. OP - NICENESS. You rule.
BiscuitHead 0
#120 wtf are you talking about ? either i don't get it.. or you're just a really random person..
whitesmoke 0
worst FML in a while.
feeish 0
FML needs a So What button
rickpatmo 0
some fml's really suck, for example this one.
AkihiroHattori5 0
I regularly moderate FMLs and it pains me not only to see some real gems get denied, but to see crap like this get approved. I submitted two, and I'm dang sure both were better than this.
mavsfan26 5
#136 Imma have to agree with that. same thing applies to me
SwingSea 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Im sure you made the waiter, and all his coworkers laugh as well!