Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I texted my friend’s mom, asking if she could send over my hoodie that I left at their house. Except I didn’t text her, I texted my ex’s mom, who said, “You should probably stop texting me. She’s engaged now.” FML
Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
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Top comments
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Resistance is futile.
lmaouloser 5
Run Bro.
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Comments (218)
gallopinghorses 3
And how does she have your phone number...?
dreamweeper370 10
She's persistent and knows your routine. I don't see the problem.
gixxergirl74 5
What is a stalker?
False_Stupidity 42
Tell her not to contact you if she persists go to the police
kickass1234 10
I say get a restraining order then say " How do you like that bitch!"
surimf 7
Tell her to **** off
mrod5193 3
Buy a gun bro.
rainbowteehee 6
Stalker alert!
lilolee94 4
how did she get your number in the first place?!?
kiwiphoenix 2
I feel your pain. Get ready for anything, because you never know what will happen next. I once somehow found myself doing the awkward sit-down with one girl's hyperprotective, disapproving parents, and had to try and find a tactful way of explaining 'We're not actually dating, and never have. In fact, I have been actively trying to avoid your daughter, but she's a highly skilled stalker. Sorry for the confusion.' Still have no idea how that happened.
laden_swallow09 35
How'd it end for you?