Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I texted my friend’s mom, asking if she could send over my hoodie that I left at their house. Except I didn’t text her, I texted my ex’s mom, who said, “You should probably stop texting me. She’s engaged now.” FML
Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
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Top comments
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Resistance is futile.
lmaouloser 5
Run Bro.
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Comments (218)
silverstream20 20
Keep your valuables safe too because if she can't have you she might take your stuff.
SeeNote 1
Time to form a militia and retaliate ;)
Dcm210 19
is your stalker hot?
mizzmandy87 5
Holy creep much ayeee
doglover100 29
Creeper. I'd call the police.
88vivera 9
Omg! How does she know that?!
supportcommand 17
Your best option is to sleep with her a couple of times. Then get a new number. Or move. To another state. Or just tell her to **** off.
solosohigh 15
94- he definitely shouldn't sleep with a girl that crazy. does anyone remember the fml where the guy tried to pull out during sex and she wrapped her legs around him and screamed, "have my babies!" or something? it's probably the same girl, onto her next victim. some people can't take a hint. I've found that the only thing to do in that situation is to be brutally honest, even if it's a little rude. good luck and watch your back.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Tell her the truth.
blackmagic01 2
Be proud son, like Joey from Friends, "I got my very own stalker!!"
friscosoonerkid 3
How did she get your number if you are trying to avoid her?