Today, I'd never quite realised how nasty my girlfriend was until she hit a kid on a zebra crossing and was more upset that her bumper was dented than the fact an 8 year-old had a broken leg. She was still blaming the kid and demanding his parents pay the damage as he was being put in the ambulance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML
Today, I have never been more disgusted at my daughter. She was on her phone and almost walked in front of a bus, until a man with some kind of facial disfigurement pulled her back. She called the poor man a "freak" and not to touch her, and he started crying. I'm ashamed to think she is mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, my toxic daughter learned that yelling at a biker chick won’t just get her an argument, it will get her several broken bones and a concussion. The FML is that I now have to take care of her with her broken leg for six weeks. I hate her; she’s such a bitch to everyone. FML
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
Today, my girlfriend was driving on a busy highway when she slammed on the brakes, causing a multi-car accident. She then ran across several lanes, almost getting smashed by a truck, because she thought she saw a dog in the road. It was already dead. Insurance is gonna be a nightmare. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML
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Top comments
Ambrily 27
Leave that piece of human trash.
ywolfgl 21
Wow, that is some girlfriend! I'd hate to date a girl like that
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Comments (16)
ywolfgl 21
Wow, that is some girlfriend! I'd hate to date a girl like that
Gord Stephan 4
dump her pathetic ass
Ambrily 27
Leave that piece of human trash.
RichardPencil 32
I'm just wondering if they pronounce it ZEB-ra or ZEE-bra. She's a keeper until she asks you to take out suspiciously large life insurance policies.
inthesticks 19
She should be your ex
Dolores Payne Saile 8
Run
bleachedraven 14
damn, evil 😳
Moezzz 6
Pretty freakin heartless to demand recompense while the kid is being loaded into an ambulance.
Hempseed 27
I'd recommend you take some time out to re-evaluate your relationship with this woman and consider whether or not this is really someone you see yourself with, say, fifteen years down the line. If she can do this to someone else's kid without reflecting on her behaviour, imagine what she'd do to any future children or pets you and her might have.
Brightside86 31
She must be very pretty.