Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
Today, the couple I've been housesitting for returned. Apparently, I kept the place too clean, and they don't believe that I actually stayed here. They're refusing to pay me. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, a client refused to pay for the nails I spent nearly three hours doing, because apparently it's her birthday and "you don't pay for birthday nails." She refused to pay, and we locked her inside the salon. She threw a bitch fit and rolled on the ground like a worm, kicking and screaming until the cops arrived. FML
Today, on site, my client was certain she had switched off her electric fence prior to me conducting an inspection of her boundary retaining wall. I overbalanced on my ladder and grabbed at the fence wires for support. The electricity was not switched off. FML
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Top comments
PoopNuggetLeader 4
There is a lovely product that many have tried and have had success with. It's called Slap-a-hoe. Works wonders.
BjgUsername 12
She probably just wanted an excuse not to pay you, some people are just pathetic OP.
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Comments (91)
victrin 12
... And that's when you call the police.
D3ATHZ3RO 15
Next time u mow her lawn wait outside and when she asks just say "oh sorry, I don't have permission to go inside" sarcastically
Enslaved 36
I doubt there will ever be a next time.
SlapAndTickle 20
Was she elderly?
kiskraze 7
This is where paperwork comes in handy ;)
klc20071989_fml 20
What kind of lawn person doesn't have their own equipment? Even when I was in my early teens I had to push my own damn mower around to lawn. Man up and get your own mower.
olpally 32
The way this fml was worded, it made it sound like a kinky porno.
jjmiller1001 17
hopefully you have a written and signed contract
SystemofaBlink41 27
I would've taken all the grass shavings and thrown them back in her lawn.
joethebiden 8
I'd tell you to un-mow the lawn, but I have no idea how someone could pull that kind of black magic.
Omniprism 14
I would have said "if I didn't have permission how would I know where the key is?"