Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I aren't speaking. He wanted to stay up late to "look for jobs", so I went to bed. An hour later, I was awoken to him screaming. When I ran in to see what was going on, he had a video game open. I shouldn't be mad at him because it was a "mega rare drop", he insists. FML
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Top comments
LaColombianita 26
At least he doesn't let people say shit to you. That was nice of him to have your back.
The_4th_Doctor 13
He's the kind of guy you want in the zombie apocalypse.
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Comments (172)
Donna_Dashh 8
Haha! The best FML I've ever read!
Corvo_Attano_4 12
Which video game?
StonedLegend 3
So you call him a lunatic for defending your honor? This is a prime example of a retard...
lholifield23 12
That was sweet of him though. Now you know he cares. Would you rather him laugh and agree or do something?
lovealwayssam 14
At least he loves you enough to stand up for you. +1
C3b2m 2
creepy way to "defend your honor"
Mandybruin 15
At least he defended your honor! That's something, right? O.o
Assassinatory 11
You should be proud.
fullerkate3 17
Why are you mad thats so sweet he wont let anyone mess with you.
shivakoushik 10
U have no respect to a guy whose got your back! U deserved being called so