Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, I watched a grizzled old gas station attendant, with a stain on her blouse, use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML
Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML
Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML
Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Ditch him he cant take back the gas
muhaidib 2
Ahh, that's how hookers start
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Comments (143)
onedayinamsterda 14
the question now is, "will u be turning up for the date?"
bballsoccerrocks 7
Free gas is free gas
ohSNAPyall 27
And free dinner!
kirsty777 3
Sounds like a keeper.
Wreckless_fml 6
Prostitute.
Wreckless_fml 6
Oh no! I double posted... Shame on me :(
The_Instigator 11
You gotta do what you gotta do. you know what I'm sayin'?
perdix 31
Hopefully, he'll pop his teeth in for your big date. In any case, I'm there's a lesson in using a siphon in store for you ;)
jwade11 12
Huh?
perdix 31
A siphon is another way to get free gas that involves sucking on a hose.
thiscrazything 1
Either way, suck on a nasty hose and get free gas.
zombicidal 11
unless you buy a new hose for siphoning
whiterabbit420 4
49--- even with a new hose it's still nasty. Gas fumes and such.
PSQ91 6
Rescedule the date. Go get free gas. Rescedule the date. Go get free gas... Until he's mad :D
bballsoccerrocks 7
Free gas is free gas
bballsoccerrocks 7
Free gas is free gas