When you run out of kibble... By FML Approved - 19/10/2017 20:30 Say it isn't so! I agree, your life sucks 429 You deserved it 101 Share Tweet Share
Today, I tried to compliment a girl at my gym by saying, “Wow, you’re really strong!” She smiled and said, “Thanks.” Then, probably to be polite, she said, “You’re really… trying.” That was her actual word choice. I went home and considered canceling my membership, but I found out that it's designed to be almost impossible to leave the gym. FML I agree, your life sucks 306 You deserved it 170
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 130 You deserved it 2 967
Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 510 You deserved it 8 586
Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML I agree, your life sucks 7 089 You deserved it 39 658
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 308 You deserved it 5 706
Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 055 You deserved it 3 377
Did not expect that.