When you run out of kibble... By FML Approved - 19/10/2017 20:30 Say it isn't so! I agree, your life sucks 429 You deserved it 101 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML I agree, your life sucks 38 268 You deserved it 4 813
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 275 You deserved it 3 577
Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 241 You deserved it 511
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML I agree, your life sucks 25 696 You deserved it 2 385
Today, since I've been told (and am well aware) that I'm too nice, I've been trying to become more assertive. The only trouble is that I find it to be almost impossible, especially because my friends are always asking what my problem is when I stand up for myself. Isn't this what you wanted? FML I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 91
Today, it's been 3 weeks since we had dinner with my sister's new girlfriend, who made us a Chinese soup that was "good for digestion". I’ve had cast iron bowels for 32 years with no problems, but for the 3 weeks since that soup, I have to shit brown water 10 times a day and I’m in agony. I think she poisoned me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 405 You deserved it 152
Today, I finally found out where my great-grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year-old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 835 You deserved it 3 328
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 764 You deserved it 10 129
Did not expect that.