Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, I watched a grizzled old gas station attendant, with a stain on her blouse, use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML
Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML
Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML
Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML
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Top comments
imustbeinsane 2
Ditch him he cant take back the gas
muhaidib 2
Ahh, that's how hookers start
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Comments (143)
Enslaved 38
65? You say? I guess he didn't plan his retirement very well.(:
perdix 31
I beg to differ. He gets sex from younger women by stealing from his employer? I'd say, "Well played, sir!"
Enslaved 38
Is that you over there begging?;) You do have a valid point! Lol
perdix 31
With you Enslaved, I ain't too proud to beg. What you've got is more explosive than gasoline ;)
ikickgingers 15
Rule 34...
Dandeska 7
A date can't hurt
GoodLookingGeese 10
It depends of which hole do you play into.
jacquesromualdez 12
It won't. He's toothless remember?
sikmunkee 9
that sounds fun
TipOfTheHat 10
Does he provide full service?
shift_love 13
**** yes! I wonder how many people picked up on the subtlety of that one.
DocBastard 40
After the date, are you going to let him check under your hood and give you a lube job?
brianod 0
are your patients retarded?! how did they get glow sticks and coke bottles stuck in their asses
xiaoxaio 5
ew ..hes 65 idk if he'll even get it to stand up
misterjez 15
Lol it's a **** ring
KiddNYC1O 22
62- That comment is hilarious with your pic.
DocBastard 40
Brianod - What misterjez said.
Bigboned38 0
If I was him I would give you your gas after the date, if you earned it that is!
mrz1177 11
Might as well have sold your car for gas
Emperorerror 8
More like F HIS life. He doesn't have a wife at 65.
loserman67 36
So you think he'll pump it for you or will this date be self-serve. I bet you can't wait to have his gasoline scented fingers with all the black under his nails touching you. I'm sure he has wonderful breath too, so when you lean in for that all important first kiss and you get a whiff of his onion/garlic/cheese breath wafting from his rotted gums..... Ahhhhhhh romance. I bet you start walking a lot more in the future. Good luck getting a job, I hope you find one soon!