By Sad - 3/1/2021 11:01

Tock follow tick follows tock…

Today, after my grandfather died a month ago, my grandmother had a massive stroke. I have a sinus infection but had to be tested for Covid. I need it to show negative so I can say goodbye to the most influential woman in my life. I don’t know that results will be back in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1070

You deserved it

51

Tweet

Share

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Shark-infested offices

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 27/11/2020 17:00 - Germany - Bayreuth

Amazon Prime

Today, I ordered an iPad to replace a broken tablet in a haste. I managed to order one of the only ones that doesn't support an Apple pencil. This is exactly the only feature I SERIOUSLY need. Can one be more stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks

271

You deserved it

898

Tweet

Share

By Ma_Nikka - United States - Olivehurst

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks

28038

You deserved it

2879

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40847

You deserved it

3178

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Jacksonville

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48056

You deserved it

3396

Tweet

Share

By batsu - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7947

You deserved it

66548

Tweet

Share

By nakedyogagirl - United Kingdom

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10008

You deserved it

39366

Tweet

Share

By Ew. - United Kingdom

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21804

You deserved it

9193

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Astoria

Today, a stranger nearly beat the crap out of my boyfriend for being a pedo. I ended up showing the guy my driving license to prove I'm not a pre-teen and that I'm just freakishly young looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14358

You deserved it

977

Tweet

Share

By jkin47 - United States

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36554

You deserved it

4021

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Westerville

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25503

You deserved it

2794

Tweet

Share

By ripped off and blown out

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4616

You deserved it

472

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my good friends confided in me about the affair she is having with our boss. She'd been sleeping with him for 3 months and told me they were in love, but it had to be kept quiet due to our company's very strict anti-fraternization policy . I'd been secretly seeing him all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58121

You deserved it

23762

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my new car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5350

You deserved it

504

Tweet

Share

By sad sack. - United States

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24921

You deserved it

2847

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

64402

You deserved it

25354

Tweet

Share

By blahbags - United Kingdom

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56707

You deserved it

17733

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

You idiot!

Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

436

You deserved it

2820

Tweet

Share

By bigbro - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13274

You deserved it

4908

Tweet

Share

By brooke - United States - Kissimmee

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12162

You deserved it

69241

Tweet

Share

By coral - United States

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53519

You deserved it

12355

Tweet

Share

By Liz - United States

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56341

You deserved it

5220

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80661

You deserved it

3691

Tweet

Share

By mick

Today, on my and my wife's very first camping holiday, someone cut a hole in the tent wall while we slept and stole everything, including my keys and the car. Finally getting home, it seems the thieves got our address from the car's sat-nav and burgled the house as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6643

You deserved it

480

Tweet

Share

By Earthboundb - United States

Today, I just got back from a Civil War Reenactment in Virginia, my first big event in years. I spent over $200 on gas and food, and had to drive for over 10 hours both ways from Massachusetts. When I finally got there I realized, I had left my uniform at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28134

You deserved it

61418

Tweet

Share

By ImOverHere - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31800

You deserved it

3081

Tweet

Share

By UnwantedDaughter

Today, it's my birthday. My father didn't get me a birthday present or do anything for me, and acted as though he only came to visit because it was expected. Yet when it was his birthday a couple months ago, he expected me to take him out and pay for it FML

I agree, your life sucks

2589

You deserved it

202

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48756

You deserved it

11250

Tweet

Share

By Allenburg - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36620

You deserved it

7460

Tweet

Share

By bummed out step monster - United States - San Francisco

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26952

You deserved it

3077

Tweet

Share

By PC Jones - Australia

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42349

You deserved it

3195

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Albans

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28451

You deserved it

2737

Tweet

Share

By Jes_jes18 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks

66782

You deserved it

7662

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7470

You deserved it

24620

Tweet

Share

By anal-retentive - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15135

You deserved it

4211

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53791

You deserved it

5379

Tweet

Share

By disembob - United Kingdom

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25269

You deserved it

3332

Tweet

Share

By loser - United States

Today, I got officially uninvited to a party. This is the third one this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33284

You deserved it

8300

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Hey Scratchy!

Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1406

You deserved it

162

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25007

You deserved it

6561

Tweet

Share

By Pissed - New Zealand

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42290

You deserved it

4299

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By samomaha | 17

#7961881 - Sunday 3 January 2021 13:58

OP, you have my deepest sympathy. This is another of the awful side effects of this pandemic. I really hope things work out somehow for you.

By spinspinsugar | 9

#7962632 - Wednesday 6 January 2021 20:40

reading this broke my heart. December 30th was my grandmother's 11 year death anniversary after suffering from complications of a stroke so this really struck close to home. I feel for you, op. I really do ❤

COMMENTS

By samomaha | 17

#7961881 - Sunday 3 January 2021 13:58

OP, you have my deepest sympathy. This is another of the awful side effects of this pandemic. I really hope things work out somehow for you.

By spinspinsugar | 9

#7962632 - Wednesday 6 January 2021 20:40

reading this broke my heart. December 30th was my grandmother's 11 year death anniversary after suffering from complications of a stroke so this really struck close to home. I feel for you, op. I really do ❤