Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Timing is everything

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 965

You deserved it 3 400

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Not now

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 190

You deserved it 2 617

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 439

You deserved it 7 679

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 773

You deserved it 3 777

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 218

You deserved it 5 168

By RingAroundThe..SPLAT - 16/05/2012 04:10 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 2 879

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 641

You deserved it 2 344

By Cinnamon - 18/07/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 185

You deserved it 4 361

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 761

You deserved it 4 087

No thanks

By SadIndianLife - 15/11/2015 21:00 - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 463

You deserved it 2 250

ByronJess 17

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

That makes you wonder exactly why she was still letting you sleep with her...

cjcstuart 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

Please tell me you pulled out...

Comments

ant1078 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:14

I hope this was an attempt at sarcasm...

bizarre_ftw 21

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:15

Close family

hiddenpoet 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:18

I kinda wanna chuke now

CaptainPickles72 18

Saturday 28 January 2012 4:29

That sounds like some sort of exotic animal... The Chuke. I imagine the chuke would be so ugly that it would make me wanna *puke!

zack11742 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 4:39

Well done 135 well done sir

bizarre_ftw 21

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:18

We all do auntie, we all do

zues70 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:19

Hot...

GoW_Chick 14

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:17

Not...

rattusrattus 18

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:21

That is a disturbing incest kink she's got there.

funnynesh 10

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:22

Propose, and see what her reaction is…

jaredofmo 22

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:30

People say the darndest things during sex.

lolyeahthatsme 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 14:29

This made me laugh not because it's funny, but because this person actually used the word "darnest"

jaredofmo 22

Saturday 28 January 2012 16:31

"Darndest." As in "Kids say the darndest things..."

yoshikatshomoto 2

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:30

Maybe that is what turns her on... Some people did taboo gives them a high..

tmd4L 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:33

You aren't her brother right?

Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Gross Weird Smells First Dates Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 152

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 012

The Top

Today, I guess my mom didn't clean her toilet before going on vacation. That’s probably why it’s not only dirty, but the dirt has started to grow mould. Spoiler: She's been back from her trip for a while now, the toilet still looks that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 92

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 839

You deserved it 24 503

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 297

You deserved it 4 213

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 732

You deserved it 2 891

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 025

You deserved it 2 854

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 313

You deserved it 2 538