Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, my roommate and I were talking about how much better my dog has gotten at not peeing in the house, and how I was doing better at not losing my temper when he did. A few hours after this conversation, the dog pissed all over the floor and I screamed so loudly that now my throat hurts. FML
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
What did the vet do when presented with a perfectly healthy dog? I'll guess they expressed its anal glands which seems appropriately connected to your singing.
hopejm 5
your boyfriend is an idiot. sorry. on the positive side, at least he really cares about your dog.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
What did the vet do when presented with a perfectly healthy dog? I'll guess they expressed its anal glands which seems appropriately connected to your singing.
hopejm 5
your boyfriend is an idiot. sorry. on the positive side, at least he really cares about your dog.
gidonene 7
he probably new it was you and just pulled a prank.