Intimacy: The truth - FML

The truth

By Theaccident - 22/01/2011 10:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 030

You deserved it 3 660

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 405

You deserved it 9 309

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 191

By crakbbyaparently - 31/01/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 834

You deserved it 1 886

By wtfdad - 16/11/2014 05:29 - United States - Little Silver

Spicy

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 211

You deserved it 4 243

Stop talking

By -.- - 19/01/2015 01:18 - United States - Ellwood City

Spicy

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 027

You deserved it 3 029

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 07:26 - United States - Blair

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 282

You deserved it 1 884

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Spicy

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 186

You deserved it 4 177

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 756

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 419

You deserved it 3 130

Third on the podium

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - Pakistan

Spicy

Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 141

Next

Top comments

sourgirl101 28

Saturday 22 January 2011 17:02

Many children are unexpected but what is unexpected and unacceptable is for a mother to say such things. What child wants to hear that the "only" reason they are here is because daddy forgot to pull out? It may be true but not something a loving mother should ever say to their child. Ever!

alwa7sh 2

Saturday 22 January 2011 16:45

Actually if he did then FYL, as a sperm that is.

Comments

lee6658 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 19:07

get over it.

littlericht 2

Tuesday 22 November 2011 3:39

Atleast Shes honest to you!

e4es 0

Friday 25 November 2011 6:45

:(

fml286064 4

Tuesday 22 May 2012 9:23

Don't feel bad. I am here for the same reason :-/

cass711 3

Sunday 12 August 2012 3:59

i love how your name relates to your fml

gracie_mae 4

Monday 28 April 2014 0:09

well your moms a bitch. I wouldn't have told you anything

crystalxa 35

Thursday 1 May 2014 15:57

I'm sure there are a few of us fellow humans that were concieved during the 'pull out method'!

napoleod 8

Monday 13 April 2015 6:23

That's how my girlfriend came into the world

tanman230 10

Tuesday 24 October 2017 20:07

well your parents are Morons and clearly never payed attention in sex ed

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 236

You deserved it 37 867

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, I got called for a job that I applied to 2 months ago, just to ask me if I had an older brother that could work for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 810

Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 4 990

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 736

You deserved it 6 102

Today, my admissions to my dream university was rescinded and no longer being considered for a $45,000 scholarship. Apparently, the content of my TikTok account does not align with the University’s values. I forgot I have a few videos of me twerking and lip syncing a few profanity-laced songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 1 403

Today, my partner and I were both horny at the same time. I entertained our 3 kids while he jerked off, then he entertained them while I went and masturbated. We live together and this is the first time we’ve been horny at the same time since Christmas, because we’re both so exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 397

Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 946

You deserved it 3 443