Today, I was at my 10-year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screamed when she saw me. Then she started hitting me, looking panicked. I calmed her down and asked why she hit me. She says, "Everyone thought you were dead"' FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML
Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML
Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML
Today, I ran into one of my exes, and she seemed straight up shocked to see me. She said, "OH MY GOD! You're alive?" like I was a suicide risk or something. Nope, turns out her last 3 boyfriends before me were so unstable that when she cheated on them, they killed themselves shortly after. FML
Today, I attended my high school reunion and was feeling good about the gym progress I’d made. Looking fabulous, I was ready to relive my glory days when I got into a conversation with someone I didn’t recognize. He had to remind me that we were in the same chemistry class for two years. I had no idea who he was. FML
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I've had a huge glow up since then, and I noticed plenty of women who never spoke to me at the time trying to hit it off with me. It seems the partners of some of those women got jealous and started pressing me. Now I'm getting bullied for being hot? FML
Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
Ok, even if she thought you were dead, why is hitting an appropriate response?
DDang 2
Wow. That sucks big time. How the heck did it come to that? o-o
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Comments (103)
niadanac1 3
I can't believe they posted this...
nefariousnobo 0
"Everybody thought you were dead?" - Who are you that nobody even knew you were alive? Or is it that they all thought you died; if so why? That's... Really... Odd
lazytown 0
She really thought you were a zombie? That's... weird. I'm guessing they thought you were dead because they never heard from you, and not because someone started a rumor that you were in a car crash or something -- but that wouldn't explain her hitting you.
DJGomezzi1 0
I completely agree...
daniel1_1 13
hey where's the WTF button?
mrparkes 0
"if i was dead why are you hitting me" - JD "Dead people should be dead" - Doug (Scrubs)
possumisawesome 0
"That's my philosophy with mice. If they're alive, kill them. If they're dead, kill them." - Cook, The Tale of Despereaux
cmccarthy05 0
the only good zombie is a dead zombie - andrew jackson aw man... i might have messed that one up a bit?
insanemistress 0
lawlz niiiiice
OhhandyT 0
Why did she had to hit? Hitting peopIe isn't appropriate wheather they are dead or not.
Mr_26 0
now woulda been the perfect time to say "rumours of my demise were greatly exagerated"
EmilyClaire 0
either that or "Dam....so you can see my huh?"
YayAmerica 0
Is no one else concerend about the words "I control her"? What'd you do? Use your glamour? You are dead after all. Don't worry. This'll be an adorable story for the grandkids.
lyndis_fml 0
Uh, no, because if someone is assaulting me I have every right to stop them. This can include, if I choose NOT to render them unconscious, gaining control of their arms so they can't hit me. Are you saying you'd rather OP had decked the woman?
sjx 0
No I didn't even notice, actually.