Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: The other's in the Albert Hall

The other's in the Albert Hall

By lone_ranger - 25/09/2009 11:13 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 430

You deserved it 3 474

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Same thing different taste

It's not mine, dumbass

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 01:00

Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 072

You deserved it 212

Observational comedy

By JackOLantern2099 - 17/12/2019 18:00

Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 528

You deserved it 363

Sinking feeling

By aftermath1991 - 03/09/2009 07:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 186

You deserved it 6 285

By Username - 21/08/2011 09:59 - United States

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 908

You deserved it 7 924

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 2 949

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 106

You deserved it 4 877

Cuties

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 02:02

Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 444

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 063

By Battlebarney - 22/09/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 477

You deserved it 1 965

New balls

By Anonymous - 16/12/2019 12:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 773

You deserved it 669

Zapzip2013 0

Friday 25 September 2009 16:16

in soviet Russia balls have you.

ifinishlast 0

Friday 25 September 2009 16:49

YDI for having a 12 year old gf

Comments

SonjaJay 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 5:15

I don't see how that's a bad thing. Shes perfect for you and doesnt think your creepy with your odd ome ********

AlliFaye17 3

Saturday 27 April 2013 18:28

... But she doesn't like balls at all....

Firebirdfreak47_fml 0

Monday 4 July 2011 5:36

Hey quit harrasin him I've only got 1 testicular 2 and I got a bigger dick thank most of ya

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:26

Did you tell her she CAME from BALLS?

skate4shekla 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 21:17

Its funny cause hitler only had one...

ImTheAlpha 30

Saturday 25 February 2012 4:31

Lølz, that'd be interesting to look at. How old is your girlfriend? 10?

xNephilim 18

Friday 9 March 2012 0:54

Jesus, how old is she? 5?

newburton13 26

Wednesday 16 May 2012 1:03

I think I know your girlfriend.

emziwie 4

Thursday 17 May 2012 8:09

Way to see the ballsack as half full!

JacksBBQ 2

Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:11

How old is she? Like 6?

classicnathan 8

Monday 21 January 2013 19:25

Chicks Man, They are wierd!

Keywords

Awkward Cars Embarrassing Transportation Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Health Depression Mental health Wanker Work Love Bodyshaming Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 110

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 2 838

The Top

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 482

You deserved it 6 459

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 219

You deserved it 2 174

Today, I realized just how small and boring my life has become when the highlight of my week was an "epic quest" to the edge of the lockdown limit, to visit the only store with my favorite toothpaste. They didn't even have any in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 138

Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 096

You deserved it 226

Today, I heard that my stepmom’s mother passed away… via a public Facebook post made by my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 92

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 512

You deserved it 4 063