Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was with my 14 year-old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us, and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML
Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
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Top comments
randomdude1234 0
karma's a bitch
Ahay 3
this quite possibly could be the dumbest FML i've read in a while.
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Comments (172)
kristina_duh 0
haha god dont like ugly
djcahn911 0
That sucks worse than a black mans cum in my pussy.
RkR_fml 0
karma's a bitch
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
Karma is... apparently not as much of a bitch as u.
mandolin 0
kinda ironic lol
grizsta 0
Nice job....
jellyfilled 0
im guessing karma doesnt like you??
mohit88 0
Karmas a bitch :)
yonick561 0
big deal! don't be such a pussy. if it was me I woulda punched it in the ****** face
mab07 0
same thing happened to me well the bird attacking part. the same bird attacked my head three different times. and i was with my mom and it only went after me. THREE times. the ****** birds claws killlllll.