Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
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Top comments
khaya 9
At least it wasn't during.
RecklessJellyBea 7
Women's intuition. Now the ultimate cockblock.
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Comments (213)
JadedJarOfHearts 3
Today, my mum cockblocked my boyfriend. FML
leadman1989 16
I don't want to hear it quitter! If you were determined you both could have climaxed and had the best one minute sex ever!
dylangoudge 0
Bro this has happened to me quite a few times lol
darkwing119 5
Man can't wait till I have sex!
Savra_fml 17
Great for you, but looks like you are in for a long ride bro!
Mongoose19 0
Hahahaha best laugh of the day
TW15 5
Hey dude YOU'RE supposed to be the one taking HER shirt off....
lizard399 0
You're 15, teaching classes now? Psshh.
bigbear11112 0
So true. He must be her b$@&h
justanotherhuman 21
I e-smell gender-role preconceptions...
shad93 3
I agree completely!!!
Cmdr_Shepard 17
I know that feel bro. At least the mom didn't call DURING sex and left you blue-balled. You'll get another chance, don't worry about it.
Msadd 0
.....wtf does clairvoyant mean??
SirEBC 7
It means you don't know how to use Google.
bizarre_ftw 22
Yes. It also means you aren't one
dead_rock 3
actually #17 the legal age for sex is 16. maybe thats just where i am though (usa).
fmlallthetyme 23
It varies throughout the U.S.
CrazyGirl445 4
its varies from 15-17
jizzwold 21
It was fourteen in Iowa till just a couple years ago :(
ellybelly_502 4
Not supposed to use the lords name in vain. I get it tho that does suck for u man.. Maybe next time will be the right time! :D
leadman1989 16
God wasn't captalized so he wasn't nessessarly talking about your precious gawd so calm the **** down! Goddamn it! :o
Llama_Face89 34
Her mom sense was tingling.