Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said, "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML
Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, I came out to my parents. My mother laughed and, when I asked her what was so funny, she told me, "Well, most gays are attractive, muscular, funny and can dress very well. You're ugly, fat, boring, and have no sense of fashion. Good luck." FML
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says, "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
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Top comments
Lisimal 7
What a bitch!
trackstar329 0
wow. geez. don't listen to her. I'm sure everything about you is great! Never change yourself for a guy. When the perfect guy comes along, he will love you just the way you are. Plus, don't let those comments hurt you. Yes, it was offencive, but let it just roll off your back. Live your life to the fullest and love every moment of it! Much love.
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Comments (200)
sayhello_fml 0
Is your mom Celia Hodes from Weeds?
noshitsherlock 0
Your mother sounds like a COLOSSAL bitch. So don't take it personally. Some people are just ****** up themselves and try to bring others down to their shitty level. Ignore it and be happy! :-D
AngelRaven89 0
lol, love Celia! "Mom did you see my kick!?! "Yeah, I want to see more running though, Isa-belly"
danielaaah 0
Better start changing your laugh.
Olivia412 0
Don't change. The right guy will love you for who you are.
theflamezbegin 0
Amen, through and through.
BigCityDreams16 1
ahahahahahaha xD
dol567 0
I'm sorry...I know what it's like to have moms constantly criticize you .. it caused me to have an eating disorder. #50 - I agree, and my name's Olivia too! =)
Shlizabeth 0
Oh, shut up, you know she was kidding. I have when people try to get sympathy over a joke.
pwnage79 0
thats when u say, " and that! that bitchyness. change that"
bubbleking 0
Could someone please tell me why my comments are out of order? How do I fix this scrambled mess? Thank you for your help!
glitter_kiss 0
what an awesome pwn that would be,lol