Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said, "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML
Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, I came out to my parents. My mother laughed and, when I asked her what was so funny, she told me, "Well, most gays are attractive, muscular, funny and can dress very well. You're ugly, fat, boring, and have no sense of fashion. Good luck." FML
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says, "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
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Top comments
Lisimal 7
What a bitch!
trackstar329 0
wow. geez. don't listen to her. I'm sure everything about you is great! Never change yourself for a guy. When the perfect guy comes along, he will love you just the way you are. Plus, don't let those comments hurt you. Yes, it was offencive, but let it just roll off your back. Live your life to the fullest and love every moment of it! Much love.
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Comments (200)
kira1kira 0
bi-och mom
Shanratt 0
like mother like daughter?
textme 0
she should be a comiedian
anamaia 5
Aw, don't listen to your mom. There's someone out there who will love you for exactly who you are; who will think you're amazing and be charmed by all your quirks, like your laugh. You just have to wait for that person to show up :) Good luck!
FuzzyWalnuts 0
That's pretty nasty. FYL. Tough love doesn't have to be THAT tough. At least you know to try to change your laugh?
nodnarb117 0
You know that's bullshit.
sexymessy 0
That was rude,I'm sorry you experienced that.
onigiriqueen 0
HA! Igloos are in Alaska ^_^
Moemoemoe_fml 0
You are right, and #130 is full of crap.
eyesonfire 0
LMFAO FYL
HeyThereGorgeous 0
Why does everyone have effed up bïtches for parents, siblings, friends, and boyfriends and girlfriends ?!?! No one in my life is like that. I guess my life is alright I guess . That's sucky for you, OP .
generalsmith2 0
first
uj_fml 4
LOL
skullbuster 0
Time for some reality here. We all make a lot of assumptions from 1-2 sentences from the OP. And from those 1-2 sentences we seem to have pulled out all of the modern-day psychobabble possible to comfort our good friend "Anonymous (woman)" from Canada (Ontario). Haven't we said it all? Mom has deep seated issues, Mom has something going on in her life that makes her an unbearable twat, Mom is jealous, don't give up on yourself, I'm sure your beautiful inside and out (shout out to C.Aguilera), you'll find a man who loves you for you, just be yourself and don't listen to her.. ..hold on..I just vomitted a little in my mouth and need to get my bearings.. OK, I'm back. And if we believe OP, then Mom is a real ****. But, in fact, maybe OP is a total ***** who allows the desires of her boyfriend du jour overrun her life while she treats everyone else like crap. And maybe OP is one of those really snotty teenage girls who acts like a real bitch and only stops running her mouth long enough to suck ****?! Well, the best advice to give here is to tell our dear friend "Anonymous (woman)", who we all know like a sister, and "Anonymous (woman)'s" bitch mother (who we know equally well), to get on the next flight down to the states and get your asses on Tyra Banks' show so you can get some real guidance on this issue. In the meantime, I'm sure she will be in the prayers of my good friend "United Methodist bitch" who comments so often on FML but mostly on the wrong threads because she isn't capable of using a computer properly.